"Ma'am...can you direct me to the melons?"

Cell phone conversation overheard yesterday at Wal-Mart on South Memorial Parkway in Huntsville:

"Laawwwwzeee...you won't beLIEVE who's at the Wal-Marts...DOLLY PARTON...Yeah, she's right there in the middle of the dairy aisle. I came by to pick up a couple of jugs of orange juice for breakfast next week, and there she was...No, she ain't singing, just signing autographs and a-smiling...Well, it looks like she's smiling. With all that surgery, her face may just be stuck like that, bless her heart...Yeah, she's signing CD's. And, let me tell you it's a wonder her hand don't fall right off...I know it, my arthritis has been acting up here lately, too. Must be this crazy weather...Anyway, y'all come on down and bring your mama-n-nem...Be sure to bring something with you to sign so they don't charge you for nothing...A'ight, see y'all in a little bit."