France - "The Shining Fromagerie on a Hill"

NRO's Jonah Goldberg is the master of frog-bashing. His G-File today, in which he calls for the destruction of France (as an idea), shows why. Here are a few outtakes:

France is "a shining fromagerie on a hill, serving as a beacon of asininity to left-wing radicals and a siren to kleptocratic third-world dictators who, after a career of mass-murder, want decent medical care, a good lawyer, and a fresh croissant."

"Yes, the French throne — not the Enlightenment philosophes — helped us out during the American Revolution, but that was a calculated attempt to give Britain a wedgie. "

"...more than a few French intellectuals have been known to look at dictators and mass-murderers the way Michael Jackson gazes at posters of Macaulay Culkin."

"...while they ribbit a big game about bringing liberty and civilization to the world, France's record is one of sowing the seeds of tyranny and corruption almost everywhere they've planted their flag. Meanwhile, Britain's former colonies are mostly moving in freedom's direction. The political scientist Myron Weiner has observed that since 1983, 'Every single country in the Third World that emerged from colonial rule since the Second World War with a population of at least one million (and almost all the smaller colonies as well) with a continuous democratic experience is a former British colony.' Meanwhile, every former French colony talks pretty. Advantage: pub-crawlers!"

"...as the French general who started fighting the Germans in 1945 said, 'Better late than never!'"

"So joy to the world and down with the French! But I repeat myself."