Masked Bandit Causes Power Outage - Again

The Huntsville Raccoon Conspiracy continues. I posted this in early December the last time a raccoon interfered with Huntsville's power supply. I haven't heard anything about the fate of the raccoon yet, but I'll be sure to keep you informed.

Meanwhile, alarm has been raised around town as residents express their concern that the masked animals may very well be up to something sinister. South Huntsville resident Jimmy Wayne Hornswallow (who is called J.W. for short) had this to say about a recent encounter with several raccoons in his backyard:

"I seen four of the little bastards just yesterday ove' 'ere at the edge of the yard by that flower pot. [Points to a commode at the back edge of his yard near the woods.] They was making little coon noises and all...kinda clicking at each other. [Demonstrates clicking sounds.] Then one of 'em took notice of me and charged right at me with kind of a wild look in his eyes. [Opens eyes wide and makes a contorted face.] I ain't never seen that look in no raccoon before.

"My wife Essie was in yonder in the kitchen mopping, so I yelled at her to bring me her .22 rifle from under the waterbed. Well, the floor was still wet and poor Essie fell plumb on her ass and hit her head up against the stove. After it was all over, I had to take her to the 'mergency room to get 5 stitches across her forehead. The doc said she probably would have busted her tailbone if she hadn't had a little extra padding. More cushin' for the pushin', as my daddy always said. [Winks.]

"Anyways, after Essie busted it on the floor, I ran in and grabbed the gun myself. But, by the time I got back outside, them coons was all gone. Or, at least they was a-hiding real good. [Slowly scans the yard and the surrounding woods.] Them's some sneaky critters, you know. Well, I was a little perturbed so I let out a few choice words before Essie yelled at me to come help get her up out of the floor.

"Them little varmints was up to no good, I tell you. Now that the power's gone out twiced on account of 'em, I'm certain of it. There's some strange things going on in the world these days."