Sweet Tea: "The Drink of the South"

No offense to any of my Yankee friends, but it's hard for me to imagine the drudgery of a life without sweet tea.

One of the worst things in the world is to go into a fancy-schmancy restaurant for Sunday dinner, only to find out that they don't serve sweet tea. You can have a walnut-encrusted loin of pork over leeks, covered with capers and garnished with something resembling a pine limb, but no sweet tea.

"But, we have sugar," the waiter says. Yeah, right. You might as well throw in a handful of sand. It would have about the same effect.

"...or you can use Sweet 'n' Low," he chimes in, meeting with blank stares. Who the hell wants a glass of tea that tastes like Tab? I'll just have water, thank you.

And, to think that there are restaurants right here in Huntsville, Alabama that don't have sweet tea. Uncultured cretins. The next time I go to one of those places, I'm tempted to take in my own soft drink of choice - a gallon of tea from Milo's, which is unquestionably the best storebought sweet tea you'll find anywhere.