Move it on over

A new state law will go into effect this Saturday requiring drivers to move over a lane when approaching a stopped emergency vehicle on highways with four or more lanes. So...is that all drivers in all lanes, or just the ones in the closest lane to the PO-lice? Hmmm...clarification is needed.

Anyway...that's riveting news, but it's nothing compared to this: tomorrow, the New York Times will report that U.S. intelligence has intercepted a highly unusual electronic transmission from North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il. Curiously, it is addressed to conservative talk-show host Rush Limbaugh. The message, which is related to Mr. Limbaugh's latest legal troubles, has been classified as top-secret, but the Times has decided to run the story anyway. Luckily for you - my loyal readers - I have managed to obtain a copy of the original message from Mr. Kim, and the full text is transcribed below (must be read with a Korean accent for full effect):

Dear Mr. Limbaugh,

I regret that we have had such lingering differences in the past. That is truly lamentable. Nonetheless, please accept my utmost sympathies on your latest run-in with the U.S. government. As you know, I have never held an election in my whole life, but look at me! I am still lobbing missiles in all directions, happy as can be. Consequently, I've got the whole world on its knees, begging me not to lob the big one in their direction. All this attention from world leaders gives me really, really intense and powerful feelings. And the great thing about it is that an election is completely unnecessary.

So, Mr. Limbaugh...hang in there, buddy! And remember, sometimes it is lonely at the top.

Regards,

Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il (aka the "Little Dictator")