Quick! Fetch me a paper bag!

Alablawgger Wheeler thinks that I'm hyperventilating.

He basically says that my last three posts have dispelled any lingering doubt that I am an idiotic nitwit worthy of relentless ridicule. And so to defend the honor of ridiculous, idiotic nitwits everywhere, I will now offer a series of responses in which I intend to address Wheeler's arguments (or the lack thereof, as the case may be) as directly and thoroughly as possible.

Fool that I am, I believe that those who engage in civil discourse should generally refrain from making ad hominem arguments against those with whom they disagree. This type of argument - which is directed "against the man" rather than against his argument - is ineffective as a tool of logic and impolite as a tool of rhetoric, tending to escalate even minor disagreements into personal animosity.

Unfortunately, Wheeler hasn't extended me the courtesy of politeness, as a quick reading through his lengthy post* will show. This would only be a minor annoyance if it weren't for the fact that it makes it quite difficult to sift through all the personal insults and name-calling to find the real arguments to which a response is due.

Oh well, I'll try my best. On with the show.

* I hope all will agree that the "length of the post" is quite unreliable as a measure of the man.