The facts about Sarah Palin

There are lots of vicious rumors going around about Republican VP nominee Sarah Palin. If you're interested in hearing those rumors, then you should go read He Who Shall Not Be Named. If, on the other hand, you want the facts about Gov. Palin, you should go here, where, among other things, you will learn that:

Sarah Palin is the reason compasses point North.

Sarah Palin’s enemies are automatically added to the Endangered Species List.

Sarah Palin is what Willis was talkin' 'bout.

Death once had a near-Sarah Palin experience.

Sarah Palin begins every day with a moment of silence for the political enemies buried in her yard.

When Sarah Palin booked a flight to Europe, the French immediately surrendered.

Sarah Palin once won a competitive eating contest by devouring three live caribou.

Sarah Palin doesn’t need a gun to hunt. She has been known to throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.

Sarah Palin drives a Zamboni to work.

Sarah Palin can divide by zero.

Sarah Palin’s son is going to Iraq after the Surge, because a Palin during the Surge would have been unfair.

Sarah Palin’s hotness is the largest single contributor to melting polar ice caps.

Sarah Palin’s presence in the lower 48 means the Arctic ice cap can finally return.

Global Warming doesn’t kill polar bears. Sarah Palin does - usually with her bare hands.

Sarah Palin will send Biden a pre-debate cheat sheet. The sheet will have tips on defending against Kung Fu Death Grip.

Chuck Norris wishes he was Sarah Palin trapped in a man’s body.

The Northern Lights are really just the reflection from Sarah Palin’s eyes.