Andrew Sullivan: Suddenly silent

We've heard hardly a peep out of the Atlantic's chief gossip columnist, Andrew Sullivan, for two days now. This isn't like Andrew. In a tersely worded blog post yesterday, he wrote:

Thank you for your many emails of concern. For the record, I'm absolutely fine, nothing has changed with this blog, no one is pressuring me to write or not write anything, and I spent part of the day yesterday with my husband soaking up the last moments of summer together.

Again, this is just not like Andrew. Ordinarily, he would have posted at least two or three of those glowing "e-mails of concern." He would've arranged for a diverse group of stand-in bloggers to post to his site whilst he was away. And he certainly would've told his readers ahead of time that he wouldn't be posting for awhile.

Something's just not right. I mean...has this ever happened before in American history? Andrew Sullivan - silent? He'd better get back soon or the rumors will start to fly. Rumors like these:

His beagle is pregnant and he's out shopping for maternity collars.

The Atlantic is dropping his blog and Andrew has signed a contract with the National Enquirer.

After two weeks of posting mean and nasty things about Sarah Palin, he's come to realize - like the folks at Slate - that she's his dream girl.

Andrew got upset when his husband recently sent him an e-mail with the following subject line: "But, Andrew...Sarah Palin's HOT!"

His patrons in the Obama campaign have sent him to Alaska to dig up dirt on Sarah Palin and her family.

He's in North Korea serving as a stand-in for Kim Jong-Il.

He's sulking because he just found out over the weekend that I delisted him from my blogroll a few weeks back.

He read the news about the Large Hadron Collider experiment planned for tomorrow, and he's on his way to Switzerland to observe. (In which case, someone should make sure that Andrew read that headline correctly: this the Large Hadron Collider.)

He actually did read that headline correctly, and he's en route to Switzerland nonetheless. He was there when the universe began, and he wants to be there when it ends.

If the world doesn't end tomorrow, he wants to be present when scientists discover what they are sure to dub the "Sullivan particle."

He's the keynote speaker at the "Party of Andrew" Convention tomorrow night in Provincetown.

He's in the hospital with a broken leg...after falling off his high horse.

Anyways...come back soon, Andrew. The world revolves around you. We desperately need you back - hadrons and all.

Update (9/10/08 11:55 AM): Sullivan's back today...denouncing John McCain for enabling "mindless Rovianism" over this pigs and lipstick business. Whatever. I wonder kind of politics Andrew thinks he's been enabling (and practicing) for the last month. Just call him Andrew "Turd Blossom" Sullivan.