Thursday, September 28, 2006
On this day:

Tobacco juice

So, does tobacco juice help chigger bites? I've heard it's good for bee and wasp stings, so why not chigger bites?

And if indeed it is good for all those things, then why doesn't someone market it? They'd have to improve the process of actually producing tobacco juice, of course. The thought of hundreds of snuff-dipping grannies sitting around all day and spitting into industrial-sized spittoons wouldn't be too appealing to the modern consumer. Not to mention the fact that any company based on such a business model could scarcely afford the cost of health insurance for its cancer-prone employees.

No, we'll need something better. Unfortunately, I'm not too familiar with the properties of tobacco in its raw state, so I can't help much, but I do think it would be a good idea. It would create a new market for tobacco and maybe even help wean tobacco farmers from the federal subsidies that our Congress distributes so freely. It would also be great PR for an industry that is looked upon with such disfavor these days. A natural remedy for common maladies...how could anyone object to that?